There is big news in the pop world this week. Big, big news. Huge in fact. I’m talking Gary Barlow face levels of largeness here. For the most decorated pop queen of them all, Madonna, has shocked the world and announced her split from husband, Guy Ritchie.
The news comes just eight years after a fairytale wedding in Skibo, Scotland, that sought to fuse US pop glamour with British film mediocrity for good. Alas, as with 99% of all celebrity marriages, things came to a head over numerous rows and arguments, with alleged reports of the pair being reduced to communicating through personal assistants (I do hope they got paid well).
One can only imagine what the millionaire pair had to argue about in their London mansion, though perhaps Madonna’s recent cavortings with US baseball star Alex Rodriguez and Ritchie’s obsession with making terrible, terrible films had something to do with the way things turned out.
The first clues that the marriage was on those proverbial rocks probably came in 1998 when the pair first met, and Madonna realised she was far more successful, talented and famous than her husband ever could be, and could probably do a bit better. Perhaps even Joel Schumacher direction levels here.
Ritchie has got his word in though, dissing his ex as “obsessed with her own public image, obsessed with being seen as some kind of global soothsayer.”
Showing more grit than in the entire dialogue of Snatch, Ritchie then went all Palestine on Madonna’s Judaic faith, Kabbalah, claiming it as a “weird religion.”
And don’t worry, the couple have also claimed to be making the welfare of their children, Lourdes, 11, Rocco, seven, and adopted David two, their top priority though, which is nice of them.
