Experimental Music Love

January 8, 2008

Essential Guide to T in the Park 2006

Filed under: Features — by Free Edinburgh Podcast @ 7:18 pm

 

The Key

 

Pink Absolutely faboo and desperate to see

Red Not quite as faboo, but still rather wholesome and looking forward to

Orange – Decent enough like

Yellow Meh

Light blue A bit wank

Dark blue Cack on a rabbit

Brown – RHCP

Light Green
Not heard

 

 

SATURDAY

 

MAIN STAGE

 

RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS (was a genuinely depressing moment when I found out this bunch were destined to be headlining. Boring, unoriginal music; tired, flat and tuneless vocals; meaningless lyrics; unlikeably arrogant people; horrible, whiny fans who don’t have a clue about music and the genuine power it can have over people. Just the most horriffic affliction to ever have infected the music world.)

FRANZ FERDINAND (very up and down with this lot. Can be excellent when sticking to fun pop, but Walk Away was just dreadful and they’ve never been all that interesting a live act. May see them if nothing else is going on)

KAISER CHIEFS (were fun at first but soon crossed the Line of Annoyance with constant re-releases and being played ALL THE FUCKING TIME IN EVERY FUCKING PLACE YOU WENT TO!! Now the world is less saturated with their northern zaniness, they are becoming quite likeable again, but still probably won’t see them)

PLACEBO (They like The Smiths so plus points for them. Harmless, occasionally intelligent rock, but Molko’s a bit whiny. Are one of those bands though (Muse, MCR, Green Day etc) so the crowd will more than likely be full of annoying 14 year old middle class female vegetarians who wear leather and don’t feel like anyone really cares about or understands them, and have this desire for false rebellion because daddy won’t buy them that new nipple accentuating top and navel ring to attract the lads, because that’s really what it’s all about, before summing this harsh shell o an existence though emo whines in bloody awful poetry. Rebels without a sense of irony. Placeboe still might be quite good though.)

MAXIMO PARK (One of many Franzalikes saturating the festivals this year, and are part of a British music scene on its way down to the mediocrity and uninventiveness seen after the demise of Britpop and before The Libs kicked things up a bit. Disappointing choice)

MANU CHAO (supported Chilis)

EL PRESIDENTE (Godawful band. Just entirely unnecessary and redundant.)

DUELS (nice, fun pop. And Potential Futures is great. May see.)

 

RADIO 1/NME Stage

 

PAUL WELLER (legend for his Jam stuff, but his solo career has never hit those heights. No guarantees for a set mostly of old favourites so will probably skip to Sigur Ros instead)

GOLDFRAPP (yeah, you’re hot. Your’re music’s also a bit dull though, even if it does have its sexy moments)

PHARRELL WILLIAMS (nice to see an American who’s so reserved and modest. Or is he? Or IS he? OR IS HE?!?!?! Well, no. Seems a very annoying sort, though his music’s fairly funky)

THE ZUTONS (the poverty stricken man’s Coral. Just annoying, ugly people)

THE KOOKS (couple of nice singles, on the whole a bit pointless though)

THE FEELING (very fun band who excell in crafting wonderful little pop ditties. Should be a joy in the sunshine)

THE CRIBS (Not all that impressive on record, but shine as a live act. May be too big a stage and a bit early for them though)

WOLFMOTHER (Oh, toss off)

BELL X1 (nice little Irish band what Damien Rice used to be a part of sort of. Bridge a gap between Keane and Coldplay)

HUMANZI (yawn)

 

KING TUT’S TENT

 

THE CHARLATANS (were rather good back in the day, bit now seem a bit tired and new stuff is really poor)

THE ORDINARY BOYS (They’re boys! They’re ordinary! It’s The Ordinary Boys! Have been pretty good at last two Ts, but Preston’s getting a bit up himself of late and the crowd will be full of annoying BB fans)

DAMIAN ‘JR GONG’ MARLEY

ORSON (you and you’re fucking stupidly jaunty hat. What are you, stupid or something? Or what?)

KULA SHAKER (I used to think Tatva went ‘Home made vagina gina, home made vagina gina and so on. It didn’t.)

HOPE OF THE STATES (Superior to practically every other band currently plying their trade in the business today and the best band at this year’s shindig. If you don’t see them, you don’t deserve to have ears. And Left is great, though not quite a Lost Riots beater. Black Dollar Bills live – WOOP!!!!!!!!!!!)

THE TWILIGHT SINGERS FEATURING GREG DULLI

GUILLEMOTS (Incredibly diverse and industrious band who can make magic from anything. Trains to Brazil may well be the highlight of this year)

THE RIFLES (Akin to Little Man Tate, Bromhead’s etc as part of the whole post Monkeys norhtern scene. Not quite as good as the two mentioned, but they have their moments.)

 

PET SOUNDS ARENA

 

SIGUR ROS (Will surely put on a show as epic and lifting as their albums, and the prospect of all this confined in a tent makes them Saturday’s headliners for me. Fo’ diddly)

BEN HARPER AND THE INNOCENT CRIMINALS

CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH (Great album, great vocals, great at Liquid Rooms. Should be marvellous)

CORINNE BAILEY RAE (I’m down with my silky R n B now, and she’s one of the best out there. Sumptious voice and should go down well in the nice relaxing sun with a bladder o’ wine in my hand)

THE DIVINE COMEDY (Will see them if just for the prospect of My Lovely Horse. Bands which have a sense of humour as well as being supremely talented with a myriad of top pop to trot (god, I’m a cunt) will always have a place in my heart)

THE LEVELLERS

XAVIER RUDD

DONOVAN FRANKENREITER

SETH LAKEMAN (rather dull troubadour)

SLAM TENT

 

JEFF MILLS

VITALIC (Live)

DERRICK MAY

MODESELEKTOR (Live)

SLAM

THE ORB (Live)

JAMES HOLDEN

NIGHTMARES ON WAX SOUNDSYSTEM

CUT COPY (Live) (Dull pseudoelectronica band a la Hot Chip etc, who indie sheeps see as they’re step out into the more diverse, and generally superior world of OTHER MUSIC. Having a keyboard alongside your skinny indie kids with guitars does not make you electronica. Just lazy, uninspiring and insipid stuff on display here)

DAMIAN LAZARUS

 

FUTURES STAGE

 

COSMIC ROUGH RIDERS (could be nice, but not worth missing the Ros for)

BEDOUIN SOUNDCLASH (cod reggae U2 coivers? Hmm)

¡FORWARD RUSSIA! (The most musically pointless band in the UK)

PRETTY GIRLS MAKE GRAVES (Smiths fans – check. Hot girls – check. Screechy guitar riffs – check. Yay!

GIANT DRAG (Fair play to them)

WHITE ROSE MOVEMENT (dull and overhyped. This could apply to so many bands here)

TINY DANCERS

THE MORNING AFTER GIRLS

DIRECTOR

MUMM-RA

KHARMA 45

 

 

SUNDAY

 

MAIN STAGE

 

THE WHO (Legends, and My Generation would be a marvellous amthem to end the weekend. We’ll see who TBC is and if they actually matter to me.)

THE STROKES (I didn’t appreciate just how great this lot were for quite a long time. Is This It? is a modern classic, bit they’re up against a Go! Team who may prove irresistable)

ARCTIC MONKEYS (To all those who think they’re overhyped, not that good and up themselves – fuck off. They’ve made the album of the year so far and have lyrics that sum up this chavtastic Britain far more effectively than any other pretender out there. And they are one of the greatest live acts I’ve ever born witness to.)

HARD – FI (The end o the video for Cash Machine is quite funny. Otherwise, meh)

THE MAGIC NUMBERS (Sunny pop for a sunny day hopefully – natch)

THE PROCLAIMERS (Do I really want to be part of a corwd of thousands of drunk Scots shouting ‘I WOULD WALK 500 MILES!!!’? We’ll see how drunk I am.)

FIGHTSTAR (Egads)

SANDI THOM (I wish you were a punk rocker with petrol in your hair – Earls is great)

THE UPPER ROOM (See Duels)

 

RADIO 1/NME Stage

 

RICHARD ASHCROFT (Now completely irrelevant and delusional. Someone needs to shut him up)

EDITORS (The only angular indie band out there who are really worth caring about. And they offered me mini muffins)

FEEDER (Might see them for those happy Buck Rogers soundtracked memories)

DIRTY PRETTY THINGS (better than Babyshambles, though that may not be too impressive a feat. Wondering has a fantastic little riff, and Gary’s there)

WE ARE SCIENTISTS (See Humanzi)

DELAYS (Scarily high vocals, but masters of heartfelt pop)

MORNING RUNNER (Interesting voice, couple of good tracks, not much else)

CAPTAIN

BREAKS CO-OP

THE CRIMEA

 

KING TUT’S TENT

 

PRIMAL SCREAM (Great new single, brilliant attitude from Bobby and insanely cool. May see)

THE GO! TEAM (Were just so fun and fresh last year, and could well be a better prospect this year as I might actually convince people to see them. When will they ever learn that I’m always right?)

THE FUTUREHEADS (You’re quite funny and sing in accents. Good luck to yous. Skip To The End is remarkably irritating though)

GOMEZ (Oh yes. Such a cool, laid back and interesting sound. Tijuana Lady? Live? Beautiful)

JENNY LEWIS (Was great in Glasgow, though a couple of Rilo Kiley numbers would be nice)

KUBB (Glad they’re disappearing without a trace. It’s all they deserve.)

LORRAINE

MOBILE

 

PET SOUNDS ARENA

 

TBC (presuming it’s ANTONY AND HIS JOHNSON)

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE (It’s a death cab! It’s for Cutie! It’s Death Cab For Cutie!! Indie emo legends, and should prove to be worth seeing hopefully)

JOSE GONZALEZ (Where do all these tediously boring singer songwriters come from? Go and fucking soundtrack a heartfelt moment on The OC. It’s more than you deserve)

EELS (E seems a bit a of a twunt now, but Beautiful Freak remains relevant and excellent today)

ZERO 7

ANIMAL COLLECTIVE

REGINA SPEKTOR (Really doesn’t deserve the attention she gets from respectable parties)

MY LATEST NOVEL

THE SPINTO BAND (Happy pop by numbers, and they have kazoos)

THE WEEPIES

 

SLAM TENT

 

FELIX DA HOUSECAT

LAURENT GARNIER (Live)

2 MANY DJ’s (It’s DJs. There’s too many of them. It’s (oh shut up – ed). Some brilliant remixes and may be worth a daunting trip into chav central to see if nothing else is going on)

MY ROBOT FRIEND (Live)

OPTIMO

UNDERGROUND RESISTANCE FEATURING GALAXY 2 GALAXY & LOS HERMANOS (Live)

MR SCRUFF (some nice sounds there)

COLDCUT (Live)

HARRI & DOMENIC

ROB DA BANK

 

FUTURES STAGE

 

BOY KILL BOY (Just obscene what some people think they can get away with)

THE FRATELLIS

THE AUTOMATIC (what’s that coming over the hill? Is it another pointless indie band?)

MILBURN (Skankalicious, and were bloody good supporting the Arctic Monkeys

PHOENIX

LILY ALLEN

THE MACCABEES

TBC

THE MARSHALS

FEAR OF MUSIC

RUSHMORE

 

Top 10 Songs most looking forward to hearing

 

  1. Hope of the States – Black Dollar Bills

  2. Gomez – Tijuana Lady

  3. Guillemots – Trains to Brazil

  4. The Who – My Generation

  5. Paul Weller – Going Underground

  6. Arctic Monkeys – A Certain Romance

  7. The Feeling – Fill My Little World

  8. Death Cab -Tiny Vessels

  9. Pretty Girls Make Graves – The Getaway

  10. The Go! Team – The Power Is On!

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