Experimental Music Love

July 31, 2008

Some News Items!!! Or Items of News. Some of Them. 31/07/08

Filed under: Music News — by Free Edinburgh Podcast @ 11:16 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
It's the Quantum of Solace!!!!  Woooahhh yeah!!

It's the Quantum of Solace!!!! Woooahhh yeah!!

The Goldfingers of Alicia Keys and Jack White Put to Use (007 Nation Army had already been used, which disappointed me greatly)

Such punnery is afoot due to announcement made by some executive types that White Stripe fan of kites, Jack White, and over-rated r’n’b singer, Alicia Keys, will follow the likes of Garbage and Duran Duran by recording the latest Bond theme. White has also written the song for Daniel Craig’s second Bond feature, Quantum of Solace, though has disappointingly not gone with the same excruciating title. Clearly lacking the imagination to find some rhymes for ‘solace’, White has instead gone for the rather tame Another Way to Die, dispelling widespread belief that the latest Bond outing was going to feature no violence or angry criminals with incomprehensible agendas whatsoever, and was instead going to be about James’ attempts to a care home for retired henchmen. I say shame on White, and anyone who writes a Bond theme which doesn’t have the same title as the film it comes from. So if the producers do decide to see sense at the last minute, and manage to navigate their stealthy way onto this site, I offer my own suggestions for an appropriate theme.

It’s the Quantum of Solace

He’s called James Bond, not Morris

His favourite day is Doris

And the smartest Broon is Horace

Not Joe!

 

Suing Pumpkins

Billy Corgan is one of music’s true silly billies. And by ‘silly billy’ I mean cocky, egotistical twunt, so lost in his own hype that Bono seems like a down-to-earth, homely chap who still buys McCoy’s crisps, and wouldn’t be ashamed to fetch a £10 inadvertently dropped down a toilet. Corgan has once again confirmed this status by heading to the courts and suing videographer, Lester Cohn, after the results of his filming the baldy singer over the course of recording and promoting his 2005 solo début, TheFutureEmbrace. Apparently the lighting kept on bouncing off Corgan’s bulbous head, basking the rest of the shot in a glorious, ethereal white that made it impossible to distinguish just how bored everyone looked when hearing his new material.

Greatest Album of 2009 Confirmed…

…as Australian Gods of electronic noises, The Avalanches, have heralded their much awaited return. “Putting the finishing touches on album 2 !!!!!!!!!” is what their very eager MySpace status message promises, and excitement has entered into this head and is thrusting itself wildly to wild jungle noises. Since I Left You is the greatest thing to ever come from the Southern Hemisphere, apart from maybe Flight of the Conchords, the South African accent and the idea that soap operas should have as many attractive women in bikinis as possible. And the idea of new material from such an inventive group can only be A Good Thing. Oh, if only it were here now.

Mullet Clad Musical Embarrassment’s Daughter Still Freakishly Popular

Young Miley Cyrus has hopped up another step on the ladder to becoming the world’s first teenage billionaire in the latest Disney produced insanity. Her latest album, Breakout, has gone straight to number in the U.S. despite being full of what I can only imagine are the inner workings of a vacuum. 371,000 were snapped up by morons and the deaf allowing the star of Hannah Montana to become the second biggest female star of the year in America. Crack habits, various diseases and forced abortions can only follow. We hope.

Terry Hall Smiles

Not really. But just imagine it. It’s quite a horrid image, isn’t it?

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