Some News Items!!! Or Items of News. Some of Them. 31/07/08

It's the Quantum of Solace!!!! Woooahhh yeah!!

The Goldfingers of Alicia Keys and Jack White Put to Use (007 Nation Army had already been used, which disappointed me greatly)

Such punnery is afoot due to announcement made by some executive types that White Stripe fan of kites, Jack White, and over-rated r’n’b singer, Alicia Keys, will follow the likes of Garbage and Duran Duran by recording the latest Bond theme. White has also written the song for Daniel Craig’s second Bond feature, Quantum of Solace, though has disappointingly not gone with the same excruciating title. Clearly lacking the imagination to find some rhymes for ‘solace’, White has instead gone for the rather tame Another Way to Die, dispelling widespread belief that the latest Bond outing was going to feature no violence or angry criminals with incomprehensible agendas whatsoever, and was instead going to be about James’ attempts to a care home for retired henchmen. I say shame on White, and anyone who writes a Bond theme which doesn’t have the same title as the film it comes from. So if the producers do decide to see sense at the last minute, and manage to navigate their stealthy way onto this site, I offer my own suggestions for an appropriate theme.

It’s the Quantum of Solace

He’s called James Bond, not Morris

His favourite day is Doris

And the smartest Broon is Horace

Not Joe!

 

Some News Items! Or Items of News. Some of Them.

Chris Martin - expressing joy

I intend to make this a regular feature maybe. Probably twice a week or something sensible like that. Mondays and Thursdays sound good? I thought so.

Coldplay are Number One Again

They are. Still not in many people’s hearts though. But enough people ventured to Tesco (most certainly with the specific intention of buying the album) or downloaded Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends legally from all the various internet places to put it back on top after a week at number two. It may have the most retarded album name since the quite exquisite Understand Your’e Swede (sic) by the enigmatic genius that is Jimmy Jenson, but it doesn’t appear to have put people off from thinking it’s a more worthy purchase than last week’s number one, the esteemed Basshunter. Basshunter is thought to be devastated and is refusing to get out of bed for anything other than a ‘damn funky loop to get me grooves onto’. Unfortunately, DJ Sammy has them all and is refusing to share.

Mercury (not music anymore) Prize 2008

It only seems like last week I was moaning over the shocking quality of the 2007 Mercury Prize, finding myself absolutely bemused by the judges’ decision to overlook quality albums by Cherry Ghost, Jarvis Cocker, Little Man Tate, The Hours, Candie Payne and, of course, the Twilight Sad, instead deciding that New Young Pony Club, The View and Klaxons represented the very best of what British music had to offer.

This annoyed me.

Lots.

Especially the New Young Pony Club bit. God, they were really awful, weren’t they? Just terrible. Anyway.

Gramercy Arms – Gramercy Arms

Gramercy Arms – Gramercy Arms

Just in time for the sun to finally hit Scotland, Gramercy Arms come racing onto the scene (with the top down of course), with 10 songs of such jangly pop sensibilities you have to look twice at the cover to convince yourself it’s not Teenage Fanclub’s welcome return.

Instead, this west coast sunshine influenced record is brought to us my a bunch of east coast indie misfits, clearly dreaming of lazy days strolling the beaches of L.A whilst huddled in their New York apartments.

Benjamin Wetherill – Laura

Benjamin Wetherill – Laura

The obscure artwork? The intriguing title? The delicate finger picking? The soft, whispering voice? The redundantly obvious song titles proclaiming So Dark the Night and How Lonely the Moon? Yep, you’ve got it. It’s yet another white, male singer-songwriter, determined to replicate the immortal brilliance of Nick Drake with just his guitar, and the occasional touch of horns, strings and woodwind, for company.

The Hair – Half Cut

The Hair – Half Cut

Oh so jagged, but isn’t every post punk indie sort these days? It does at least try to build to something credible towards the end, but by then the tedium’s already set in. Alright if you just can’t stop your yearning for another Franz, but too easily lost in a keyboard backed sea of soundalikes.

3.3/10

Mary Epworth and the Jubilee Band – The Saddle Song

Mary Epworth and the Jubilee Band – The Saddle Song

A song that conjures up glorious marches over the harshest of ground only to end up in some ramshackle alehouse as flagons of ale connect with one another over triumphant toasts and shouts of victory. A lovingly delicate b-side too. This Mary may be worth keeping in mind.

6.6/10

Die! Die! Die! – Sideways Here We Come

Die! Die! Die! – Sideways Here We Come

‘Die! Die! Die!’? How emphatic. This isn’t the bunch of shouting 15-year-olds with angst and untempered anger that you might expect though. No, behind the punctuation lies a band clearly influenced by the rumbling punk of Slint, with maybe just a touch the grown up emo of Bear vs. Shark. Not as clever as it thinks it is, but probably all the better for it. Give them a go.

7.4/10

Absentee/Liam Finn/Jeremy Warmsley (Transgressive Hot Summer Tour) – Glasgow, King Tut’s 19/07/08

He looks like his dad, doesn't he?

Glasgow has rarely come close to any weather that approaches being described as a “hot summer” these last few weeks, so perhaps Transgressive had their hopes raised a bit too high with the name of their mini-festival touring the UK. But then again, “a rather dreich, windswept summer tour” wouldn’t attract half as many people as packed out King Tut’s tonight.